Mirrors, Middle-Aged Naked Dudes, and Men Sick of the Game
Men & Mirrors Series: Part 1
“Go to the mirror. Take off your clothes, and tell me what you see.”
That’s what I tell the men I coach, counsel, and guide. Not somewhere down the road after a few sessions of therapeutic foreplay—right there in our first meeting. And no, I don’t actually mean stripping down to your birthday suit. But figuratively? Absolutely.
This is about standing face-to-face with yourself—raw, vulnerable, and honest. Fully clothed or not, the moment a man truly looks into the mirror is the moment his defenses begin to crumble. And let me tell you, no matter how successful, talented, or powerful he is, this exercise makes every man hesitate.
The Mirror Test
For many men, the idea of looking in the mirror and confronting what stares back is terrifying. The mirror isn’t just a reflection of the physical; it’s a reflection of the emotional, the spiritual, and the deeply hidden truths we carry.
Most men hem and haw, laughing nervously or deflecting: “You don’t really mean I have to do that, do you?” But I do. And here’s why.
The mirror doesn’t lie.
What you see in that reflection isn’t just a man; it’s a life—your life—laid bare. The scars. The wounds. The insecurities. The missed opportunities and failed attempts. It’s all there. The mirror is where the games stop, and the truth begins.
The Game We Play
The men I work with are in what Carl Jung called the "Afternoon of Life." They’re in their 40s, 50s, and 60s—long past the Morning of Life when everything feels fresh, new, and full of possibility. By now, life has happened. Mistakes have been made. Regrets have piled up. No man gets to this stage of life unscathed.
Yet, too many men keep playing the same tired game from the Morning of Life. You know the one:
Golf Course Syndrome.
Picture this: a foursome of middle-aged guys teeing off.
Dick: “How’s everyone doing?”
Tom: “Good. You good, Harry?”
Harry: “Yep, good here. 10/10. Living the dream. What about you, Dick?”
Dick: “Honestly? My marriage is falling apart, my kid is addicted to drugs, my father is dying of cancer, work is on the rocks, and I found a lump on my nuts.”
But that’s not what Dick says. Nope. Instead:
“Wife’s great. Kids are great. Work’s great. Nuts are great. All good! Now shut up and play golf!”
And so it goes, men faking it, playing through the pain, hiding behind small talk and bravado, even as their lives fall apart.
The Courage to Look
Then there are the men who stop playing the game. These are the men who step in front of the mirror, take a deep breath, and confront their reflection.
It’s not easy. It’s humbling, uncomfortable, even heartbreaking. But it’s also inspiring. Because the men who face themselves—flaws, regrets, and all—are the ones who begin to heal.
These are the men who have the courage to stop running, stop pretending, and start doing the work. The men who see the cracks in their mirrors and decide not to toss it aside but to piece it back together. These are the men who, week after week, rise up to the challenge of becoming whole.
The Truth About Toxic Masculinity
To those who believe toxic masculinity has destroyed all the good men, let me tell you—it hasn’t.
To the men sitting in golf foursomes, feeling like they’re the only ones with shattered mirrors—you’re not alone.
And to the men still clinging to the Morning of Life game, it’s never too late. Put down your clubs. Step away from the small talk. Turn to your buddies and say:
"I’m not good. My marriage isn’t good. My job isn’t good. My heart isn’t good. I’m done playing through the pain. I’m ready to look in the mirror. I’m ready to be real. I’m ready to rise."
The Invitation
At Man UPrising, we’re building a brotherhood of men who are ready to stop pretending and start living authentically. We’re here to help men face the mirror—not to judge or shame but to guide and support.
If you’re tired of playing the game, tired of hiding, tired of faking it till you make it, join us.
Together, we’ll look into the mirror, cracks and all, and learn to love the man staring back.
Rise UP. The game is over. The real work begins.
Join Us: